RECLAIMED!
I'll sing it again, "RECLAIMED!!!"
It seems another year has come and gone and we will soon welcome in 2016. It's hard to believe, but its even more amazing to look back over the past few years and see where we started, where we've been, where we are, and looking to where we are going.
I started this blog several years ago, when blogging was a relatively new concept, and somewhere along the way I allowed Life to interfere and I stopped blogging. Since then, the blogosphere has expanded exponentially. Our society has twisted and turned and is hardly recognizable. My family has grown, moved into 3 more homes and moved from the east coast back to the west coast, mended relationships, broken relationships, sent 4 of our kids into the public school system, started a prosperous business...and unfortunately, became relatively stagnant in our walk with God. Hey, I'm all about the honesty here...
Sometimes our walk with God is tight; sometimes we hear his whispers through the chaos of life. But then, there are the "other times:" times when we feel desolate, abandoned, forgotten. Times when we let "busy-ness" be the driving force of our lives... but the bottom-line is that we were never abandoned or forgotten, but it is God who we have abandoned and chose to forget.... loosely speaking.
Although we have never forgotten God, we have not honored him in way we would like lately. We have gone through a quiet season, a season where we haven't heard his whispers quite as loudly.
...but resounding proclamation "RECLAIMED" has echoed in our hearts the past few months and I find it fitting to "reclaim" this blog.
Sunday, November 8, 2015
Saturday, February 16, 2013
God is "Just in Time"
As of late, I am once again in humbled awe at the awesomeness of God and His ability to always know what is best for me at every given moment. It is when my life gets so incredibly chaotic that I finally just throw my hands up in the air and say, "Okay, God, you've got this because I don't have the energy to focus my attention on this matter." This is when He seems to speak the most clear to me, or maybe this is when I tune in to listen.
It is still premature to tell of all that He has been revealing to me: in due time, in due time. But, I do know that God is always "just in time." Of course, he is always "right on time," and never too early or too late--regardless of how we see it from our own human perspective, but "just in time." So where can we go to see this? What about in John 11:1-45? Jesus waited for 4 days before going to the home of Lazarus. When he got there, Martha said to him, "Lord, if you had of been here my brother would not have died." Martha trusted Jesus and had faith that he could have healed him and saved him from death, but she didn't have the faith that Jesus could raise him from the dead. But what did Jesus do? After 4 days, of certain rot and stinkiness, he walked right up to the tomb and called out to Lazarus. To the surprise of the onlookers, Lazarus got up and walked out still wrapped in the burial clothes...I can only imagine what those smelled like...
But Jesus was just in time. Not just in time according to Martha's perspective, but just in time for Him to reveal something mighty and powerful to all of those who witnessed, and for those to later hear.
What about in your life? What is He "just in time" for? Or what will you believe, in faith, that he will be "just in time" for, regardless if the moment seems fleeting or in the past? He is bigger than that.
It is still premature to tell of all that He has been revealing to me: in due time, in due time. But, I do know that God is always "just in time." Of course, he is always "right on time," and never too early or too late--regardless of how we see it from our own human perspective, but "just in time." So where can we go to see this? What about in John 11:1-45? Jesus waited for 4 days before going to the home of Lazarus. When he got there, Martha said to him, "Lord, if you had of been here my brother would not have died." Martha trusted Jesus and had faith that he could have healed him and saved him from death, but she didn't have the faith that Jesus could raise him from the dead. But what did Jesus do? After 4 days, of certain rot and stinkiness, he walked right up to the tomb and called out to Lazarus. To the surprise of the onlookers, Lazarus got up and walked out still wrapped in the burial clothes...I can only imagine what those smelled like...
But Jesus was just in time. Not just in time according to Martha's perspective, but just in time for Him to reveal something mighty and powerful to all of those who witnessed, and for those to later hear.
What about in your life? What is He "just in time" for? Or what will you believe, in faith, that he will be "just in time" for, regardless if the moment seems fleeting or in the past? He is bigger than that.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Hurricane Earl...prepared or not?
It's Wednesday evening and Hurricane Earl is predicted to do some serious damage sometime tomorrow, only a shanty 3 hours from the house. Our area is under a hurricane "watch" but not yet a hurricane "warning." And so, we are in limbo. Do we sit here and wait and pray or do we pray and leave...our decision: to pray and wait. LOL. Oh the joys of life. We have our clothes and supplies packed and waiting at the door, just in case in the even that we do evacuate.
So where is my mind at tonight amongst this? LIFE. A small 4 letter word that in itself is taken for granted. We are all guilty at times of breezing through life on "autopilot" and we tend to forget that we have a God who is greater than ourselves and greater than our circumstances...But if we just breeze thru it on autopilot, taking it all upon our own shoulders, it is as if we are standing in the middle of a Catagory 5 hurricane with our eyes closed and our fingers in our ears singing, "Lalalalalala!" Take your fingers out for crying out loud!!! Run for shelter!!!.........but what happens when we reach the "evacuation call" and we were not prepared? Such as many people in history (Hurricane Katrina for example), people have been blindsided, unprepared, and faced a LIVING HELL, if we are not looking for our shelter, our tower, our refuge, our stonghold in times of trouble (Psalm 91). If we are not "prepared to evacuate," what are we going to be left with, where will we be? If you died right now, how would you stand before God? How will you explain that you were an "over-all good person" to an infinately perfect God who knows every sin you have ever committed? Will you wait until that final judgement to beg for mercy and ask for forgiveness?
In my thinking, this hurricane is much like our salvation, you are either prepared....or not.
MY BAGS ARE AT THE DOOR WAITING!!!
Psalm 91 NIV
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly presilence.
He will cover you with his feathers and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkeness nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with yor eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.
If you make the Most High your dwelling-even the LORD, who is my refuge-
then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
They will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
So where is my mind at tonight amongst this? LIFE. A small 4 letter word that in itself is taken for granted. We are all guilty at times of breezing through life on "autopilot" and we tend to forget that we have a God who is greater than ourselves and greater than our circumstances...But if we just breeze thru it on autopilot, taking it all upon our own shoulders, it is as if we are standing in the middle of a Catagory 5 hurricane with our eyes closed and our fingers in our ears singing, "Lalalalalala!" Take your fingers out for crying out loud!!! Run for shelter!!!.........but what happens when we reach the "evacuation call" and we were not prepared? Such as many people in history (Hurricane Katrina for example), people have been blindsided, unprepared, and faced a LIVING HELL, if we are not looking for our shelter, our tower, our refuge, our stonghold in times of trouble (Psalm 91). If we are not "prepared to evacuate," what are we going to be left with, where will we be? If you died right now, how would you stand before God? How will you explain that you were an "over-all good person" to an infinately perfect God who knows every sin you have ever committed? Will you wait until that final judgement to beg for mercy and ask for forgiveness?
In my thinking, this hurricane is much like our salvation, you are either prepared....or not.
MY BAGS ARE AT THE DOOR WAITING!!!
Psalm 91 NIV
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly presilence.
He will cover you with his feathers and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkeness nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with yor eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.
If you make the Most High your dwelling-even the LORD, who is my refuge-
then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
They will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
VINDICATED
Vindicated-vin-di-cate [vin-di-keyt]
-verb (used with object), -cat.ed, -cat.ing.
1. to clear, as from an accusation, imputation, suspicion, or the like: to vindicate someone's honor.
2. to afford justification for; justify, subsequent events vindicated his policy.
3. to uphold or justify by argument or evidence: to vindicate a claim.
4. to assert, maintain, or defend (a right, cause, etc.) against opposition.
5. to claim for oneself or another
6. Roman and Civil Law to regain possession, under claim of title of property through legal procedure, or to assert one's right to possession.
7. to get revenge for; avenge
8. obsolete. to deliver from; liberate
9. obsolete. to punish
November 2007...He came home heartbroken. His dreams shattered. Eight years of dedication and sacrifice stripped away with his honor, by the choice a man who seen him as just some Bible thumper who did not have his priorities in line, according to a social mind-set though not according to the Word of God. As he walked thru the door, my heart, that had prayed feverently for days and sick with anxiety, was broken as well. The pain on his face made the realization materialize that not only was his dreams and accomplishments in vain but that our family was now in a financial crises though still committed to live this military lifestyle with the exception of the luxuries that we had come to know and depend on.
Knowing that, with all of my sound intentions, I could not comfort my husband at this moment, I resorted to leave him laying in his own despair and thoughts and sit on the back deck, grabbing my Bible in the motion. As I sat with my bible in my lap, I cried out to the God of my hope, my rock, my fortress...my God who did not answer my prayers and grant us our hearts desire in that moment of decision. God why? God why? God WHY??? I screamed in my thoughts as the tears rolled down my face. In hope and faith, I opened by Bible.
Job 12... Okay, this seems appropriate, I guess. So there I began:Job 12:1 " Then Job replied: Doubtless you are the people, and wisdom will die with you!......" God why cant you just give me the answers that I need where I can understand? WHY!? WHY!? and so, I continued reading...Job 12:6 "The tents of marauders are undisturbed, and those who provoke God are secure--those who carry their god in their hands." ~SPLAT~ No, No, God...Why? A bird? REALLY? After all of this today, now a bird is going to POOP on my bible, my most treasured possession!!?? and so I cried..... I took a business card that was in my bible case and carefully scraped the gooey mess from the page opposite of what I was reading and finally found my resolve to continue reading where I left off. Job 12:7 "But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds of the air, and they will tell you;" Huh? No way? In haste I scrolled to the wet spot on the opposite page. Job 13:13 "Keep silent and let me speak; then let come to me what may. Why do I put my life in jeopardy and take my life in my hands? Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him; I will surely defend my ways to his face. Indeed, this will turn out for my deliverence, for no godless man would dare come near him! Listen carefully to my words; let your ears take in what I say. Now that I have prepared my case, I know I will be vindicated." Now, with even more haste, I urgently ran to my husband to bring him comfort from God's Word...
Very shortly after, I found out that I was prgnant with our 4th child. After a previous very ill NICU baby, this pregnancy proved to be incredibly difficult both physically and in faith. Because of the trials of the prior November, my husband was able to be present for the pregnancy (both in and out of the hospital), delivery, and NICU stay for our premie baby before deploying for 12 months, a feet that I would have endoured alone if things had not of transpired in the manner that they did.
Now, nearly 3 years later, we have kept the faith through a 12 month deployment, prevailed through yet another difficult pregnancy and sick newborn, and encountered numorous other trials while still clinging to the promise of God. Our 5th baby, Danae (vindicate) Ayana (He answers) Kalin (faithful), is our outward confession of that faith as well as our license plate which reads "VINDKTD" LOL. We trust in God's Word....as we are waiting (still). I cannot wait for the day that we can leap with the joy of our testimony that had made us lame. God has so much in store for us all but we must keep our eyes on Him.
-verb (used with object), -cat.ed, -cat.ing.
1. to clear, as from an accusation, imputation, suspicion, or the like: to vindicate someone's honor.
2. to afford justification for; justify, subsequent events vindicated his policy.
3. to uphold or justify by argument or evidence: to vindicate a claim.
4. to assert, maintain, or defend (a right, cause, etc.) against opposition.
5. to claim for oneself or another
6. Roman and Civil Law to regain possession, under claim of title of property through legal procedure, or to assert one's right to possession.
7. to get revenge for; avenge
8. obsolete. to deliver from; liberate
9. obsolete. to punish
November 2007...He came home heartbroken. His dreams shattered. Eight years of dedication and sacrifice stripped away with his honor, by the choice a man who seen him as just some Bible thumper who did not have his priorities in line, according to a social mind-set though not according to the Word of God. As he walked thru the door, my heart, that had prayed feverently for days and sick with anxiety, was broken as well. The pain on his face made the realization materialize that not only was his dreams and accomplishments in vain but that our family was now in a financial crises though still committed to live this military lifestyle with the exception of the luxuries that we had come to know and depend on.
Knowing that, with all of my sound intentions, I could not comfort my husband at this moment, I resorted to leave him laying in his own despair and thoughts and sit on the back deck, grabbing my Bible in the motion. As I sat with my bible in my lap, I cried out to the God of my hope, my rock, my fortress...my God who did not answer my prayers and grant us our hearts desire in that moment of decision. God why? God why? God WHY??? I screamed in my thoughts as the tears rolled down my face. In hope and faith, I opened by Bible.
Job 12... Okay, this seems appropriate, I guess. So there I began:Job 12:1 " Then Job replied: Doubtless you are the people, and wisdom will die with you!......" God why cant you just give me the answers that I need where I can understand? WHY!? WHY!? and so, I continued reading...Job 12:6 "The tents of marauders are undisturbed, and those who provoke God are secure--those who carry their god in their hands." ~SPLAT~ No, No, God...Why? A bird? REALLY? After all of this today, now a bird is going to POOP on my bible, my most treasured possession!!?? and so I cried..... I took a business card that was in my bible case and carefully scraped the gooey mess from the page opposite of what I was reading and finally found my resolve to continue reading where I left off. Job 12:7 "But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds of the air, and they will tell you;" Huh? No way? In haste I scrolled to the wet spot on the opposite page. Job 13:13 "Keep silent and let me speak; then let come to me what may. Why do I put my life in jeopardy and take my life in my hands? Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him; I will surely defend my ways to his face. Indeed, this will turn out for my deliverence, for no godless man would dare come near him! Listen carefully to my words; let your ears take in what I say. Now that I have prepared my case, I know I will be vindicated." Now, with even more haste, I urgently ran to my husband to bring him comfort from God's Word...
Very shortly after, I found out that I was prgnant with our 4th child. After a previous very ill NICU baby, this pregnancy proved to be incredibly difficult both physically and in faith. Because of the trials of the prior November, my husband was able to be present for the pregnancy (both in and out of the hospital), delivery, and NICU stay for our premie baby before deploying for 12 months, a feet that I would have endoured alone if things had not of transpired in the manner that they did.
Now, nearly 3 years later, we have kept the faith through a 12 month deployment, prevailed through yet another difficult pregnancy and sick newborn, and encountered numorous other trials while still clinging to the promise of God. Our 5th baby, Danae (vindicate) Ayana (He answers) Kalin (faithful), is our outward confession of that faith as well as our license plate which reads "VINDKTD" LOL. We trust in God's Word....as we are waiting (still). I cannot wait for the day that we can leap with the joy of our testimony that had made us lame. God has so much in store for us all but we must keep our eyes on Him.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Been So Long
There is a time and season for everything under the sun (eccl 3:1) and knowing this gives me a smidge of comfort in confessing and apologizing for the months that my blog has stayed stagnant. During this season, my crazy yet beautiful life has once again changed drastically. My dear hubby returned home from a year overseas and our family has shared in the loss of our beloved Maggie, but welcomed the two new additions: Sadie, the Mastador, and sweet Dani, the latest and greatest to the Jonesy household, making us now a family of 7 and 2 dogs. We have moved as well; putting our house, on the "charming" Shasta Drive, up for rent and moving closer to Howard's work in hopes of dwindling down on our debt so that we can embark on that next big, great adventure.
So, as we turn another chapter in our lives, I invite you once again to join our journey as we embrace this world head-on sharing the love of Christ, in hopes of impacting the lives around us. Bless you my Friends.
So, as we turn another chapter in our lives, I invite you once again to join our journey as we embrace this world head-on sharing the love of Christ, in hopes of impacting the lives around us. Bless you my Friends.
Monday, April 27, 2009
The Lord knew I needed a laugh today
As a mother of four, two being girls and two being boys, I am finally learning some of the differences in boys and girls that they do not teach you school. I mean, some of the differences are obviously apparent but some...man, are just plain hysterical.
I witnessed one of these differences today that had me bent over laughing so hard that the tears were like a river down my face.
The kids and I spent the majority of our morning consumed with breakfast and chores before we finally sat down to begin our school day. As always, Xander, the free spirit, was joyously romping through the house, climbing on furniture, stealing pencils, climbing atop our backs and just fervently trying to divert our attention from our studies to devote it to him. Always the attention seeker.
Today, our bible studies took us back to the beginning of Genesis to remind us of how mighty our creator really is. How he is so much bigger than our enormously vast universe and how He would take the time to create man, so tiny in comparison to the universe and heavens and yet so precious in His love that He created us in His image. We touched on the image of Jesus and how Jesus was there in the beginning, first being mentioned in Genesis 1:26 "Let us make man in our image," and then in John 1:1 "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." This was a perfect illustration of capital letter usage for proper nouns that are reserved for persons and places. We replaced the name "Word" with "Jesus" and were able to see how Jesus was with God during creation and how Jesus IS God. It was wonderful. But then we read on in Genesis to see how God created Adam a helper and she was a woman.
This was about the time that our little free spirit, who was romping about in nothing but a diaper, decided that it would be fun to explore with a little miniature version of a cooking utensil.
This past Christmas the younger two of the four received a plastic kitchen along with all of the cooking essentials to pretend that they were connoisseurs of the culinary arts. Among these utensils is a slotted spoon that has a looped wire type handle, about 4 inches long and only about 3/4 of an inch wide...the handle, not the whole spoon. Well...as we are studying man and woman, he tuckes the handle of the spoon down the front of the diaper. As I witnessed this from across the room, I told him to take it out, that sticking things down our pants was inappropriate--like he knows what that means! But he did indeed proceed to take it out, only to cringe up his cute little face and cry, "It hurt Mommy." So I apathetically called him to me and latched onto the little spoon to begin pulling it myself but only made him cry more...hmmm, it was time to investigate. Pulling the diaper out to find out why the little spoon caught, I learned another very real difference in little boys and little girls. Why would this happen? Little boys seem to have some interesting fetish with their extra body part. It is like a toy I suppose that can be poked, pulled, and manipulated for shear joy all because the opposite gender is with lack...so I suppose. But for my little free spirit, his whole little manly-hood hung in the balance of being caught, I mean, looped through the slot of the wire handle and was at the mercy of ME, the one trying to pull it out. So the "hook-n-latch" operation had to be unraveled to free him of the obvious pain of his pious situation.
And so, God created man and then created woman, whom by the way, is very much different in all respects!
I witnessed one of these differences today that had me bent over laughing so hard that the tears were like a river down my face.
The kids and I spent the majority of our morning consumed with breakfast and chores before we finally sat down to begin our school day. As always, Xander, the free spirit, was joyously romping through the house, climbing on furniture, stealing pencils, climbing atop our backs and just fervently trying to divert our attention from our studies to devote it to him. Always the attention seeker.
Today, our bible studies took us back to the beginning of Genesis to remind us of how mighty our creator really is. How he is so much bigger than our enormously vast universe and how He would take the time to create man, so tiny in comparison to the universe and heavens and yet so precious in His love that He created us in His image. We touched on the image of Jesus and how Jesus was there in the beginning, first being mentioned in Genesis 1:26 "Let us make man in our image," and then in John 1:1 "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." This was a perfect illustration of capital letter usage for proper nouns that are reserved for persons and places. We replaced the name "Word" with "Jesus" and were able to see how Jesus was with God during creation and how Jesus IS God. It was wonderful. But then we read on in Genesis to see how God created Adam a helper and she was a woman.
This was about the time that our little free spirit, who was romping about in nothing but a diaper, decided that it would be fun to explore with a little miniature version of a cooking utensil.
This past Christmas the younger two of the four received a plastic kitchen along with all of the cooking essentials to pretend that they were connoisseurs of the culinary arts. Among these utensils is a slotted spoon that has a looped wire type handle, about 4 inches long and only about 3/4 of an inch wide...the handle, not the whole spoon. Well...as we are studying man and woman, he tuckes the handle of the spoon down the front of the diaper. As I witnessed this from across the room, I told him to take it out, that sticking things down our pants was inappropriate--like he knows what that means! But he did indeed proceed to take it out, only to cringe up his cute little face and cry, "It hurt Mommy." So I apathetically called him to me and latched onto the little spoon to begin pulling it myself but only made him cry more...hmmm, it was time to investigate. Pulling the diaper out to find out why the little spoon caught, I learned another very real difference in little boys and little girls. Why would this happen? Little boys seem to have some interesting fetish with their extra body part. It is like a toy I suppose that can be poked, pulled, and manipulated for shear joy all because the opposite gender is with lack...so I suppose. But for my little free spirit, his whole little manly-hood hung in the balance of being caught, I mean, looped through the slot of the wire handle and was at the mercy of ME, the one trying to pull it out. So the "hook-n-latch" operation had to be unraveled to free him of the obvious pain of his pious situation.
And so, God created man and then created woman, whom by the way, is very much different in all respects!
Monday, March 2, 2009
I WAS defeated
WOW! Today was one of those days...One of those hair-raising, frustrating, make you wanna quit days. It was a day that I had to literally call upon the Lord to just get our math done. No one ever said that homeschooling the children would be easy,in fact, I new prior to the commitment that it would be the hardest endeavour that I would ever embark upon.
This morning we awoke to a beautiful white landscaped yard. The brilliant white was enormously enticing to the kids so I used it to my advantage, knowing full-well that kids almost always have one up on the parents. But I did anyway and encouraged the kids to speed thru their chores and hop right onto school work so that they could play outside.
In the beginning, it was going great. They were motivated beyond motivation. But soon the neighbor kids were all in the street and in the creek behind the house sliding down inclines and throwing snowballs. My children eagerly watched out the window and tried to focus. It was very hard for them but they were doing so well. But as it usually does, the good has its end and we started to struggle. I would help one child as the other would pout because they were stuck and needed my help as well.It was a very stressful predicament. They had so much bottled up intensity and anxiety over getting finished that they became frustrated when "teacher-mom" couldn't help them as quickly as they had hoped because I was in the process of helping their sibling,not to mention, carrying around an infant and occupying and two-year old. More stress than I bargained for over manipulating this little snow day. FOR SURE. But soon enough they were done.
So once again, I was reminded today that God's grace is sufficient. It was frustrating to a point that I wondered why I was battling to home school my two oldest children while I had two demanding young ones at my feet vying for my attention as well. God reminded me that when he blessed me with children, he was putting their training and future in my hands. That this is not a task that I can lightly passed off to someone that I do not know because ultimately, it is MY responsibility to train my children up in the way that they should go because God promises that if I am diligent to do so that they will not depart from that. With such a hefty promise, if I were to expect someone else to train my children, then what will I have to complain about when they are teenagers and I can't control them...it would be on my head, if they want to rebel against me, I want to know full-well that I did EVERYTHING in my power to raise them right. Their salvation is MY responsibility as their parent and God gives me the opportunity to chose who my children are subjected to and what kinds of influences they are around. Not saying that I am hoping that this is the key to having godly young adults, but I do believe that it is a help. That showing the kids that I love God and them so much that I lovingly and gladly take on that full role and responsibility, carrying the full weight of their upbringing upon my shoulders, and that choosing the influences whom they come encounter with, as well as, ensuring that they have vast interaction with other children who are being raised in christian homes. I pray that these efforts will encourage my children to grow in love that is so lacking in our society and culture.
Please, readers, don't think that I am short-changing you if you have your children in public school, I am in no way judging you. I am solely expressing my conviction on raising my children. The conviction that I was reminded of today as well as multiple day of our school year.
So, off of my box...sorry about that. My point for blogging tonight is just that in the midst of defeated thoughts God's grace was there. HE was there. He gave me the grace to get through our school work with our sanity--at least part of it, and he reminded why I chose to do it in the first place, giving me a renewed strength.
I know that my situation may seem trivial to some of you, but I know that all can relate. In those moments that we feel like it just isn't worth continuing, when we want to walk away, walk out the door, drive off and forget. Just give up. God is there. He is always there. I have a vision of a bee in a glass jar...bear with me...but think for a moment of a bee contained in the glass jar. You can faintly hear him buzzing inside as he whizzes around searching for an escape route, but then when you take the lid off, immediately, you can distinctively hear the sound of his wings...buzzzzzzzz. Got the picture? So now apply that in those moments of defeat, take the lid off of God and listen to him buzz as he renews you. Ask him for ears that hear his voice and for his peace amidst the chaos. He is ever so faithful to do so. He ROCKS!
This morning we awoke to a beautiful white landscaped yard. The brilliant white was enormously enticing to the kids so I used it to my advantage, knowing full-well that kids almost always have one up on the parents. But I did anyway and encouraged the kids to speed thru their chores and hop right onto school work so that they could play outside.
In the beginning, it was going great. They were motivated beyond motivation. But soon the neighbor kids were all in the street and in the creek behind the house sliding down inclines and throwing snowballs. My children eagerly watched out the window and tried to focus. It was very hard for them but they were doing so well. But as it usually does, the good has its end and we started to struggle. I would help one child as the other would pout because they were stuck and needed my help as well.It was a very stressful predicament. They had so much bottled up intensity and anxiety over getting finished that they became frustrated when "teacher-mom" couldn't help them as quickly as they had hoped because I was in the process of helping their sibling,not to mention, carrying around an infant and occupying and two-year old. More stress than I bargained for over manipulating this little snow day. FOR SURE. But soon enough they were done.
So once again, I was reminded today that God's grace is sufficient. It was frustrating to a point that I wondered why I was battling to home school my two oldest children while I had two demanding young ones at my feet vying for my attention as well. God reminded me that when he blessed me with children, he was putting their training and future in my hands. That this is not a task that I can lightly passed off to someone that I do not know because ultimately, it is MY responsibility to train my children up in the way that they should go because God promises that if I am diligent to do so that they will not depart from that. With such a hefty promise, if I were to expect someone else to train my children, then what will I have to complain about when they are teenagers and I can't control them...it would be on my head, if they want to rebel against me, I want to know full-well that I did EVERYTHING in my power to raise them right. Their salvation is MY responsibility as their parent and God gives me the opportunity to chose who my children are subjected to and what kinds of influences they are around. Not saying that I am hoping that this is the key to having godly young adults, but I do believe that it is a help. That showing the kids that I love God and them so much that I lovingly and gladly take on that full role and responsibility, carrying the full weight of their upbringing upon my shoulders, and that choosing the influences whom they come encounter with, as well as, ensuring that they have vast interaction with other children who are being raised in christian homes. I pray that these efforts will encourage my children to grow in love that is so lacking in our society and culture.
Please, readers, don't think that I am short-changing you if you have your children in public school, I am in no way judging you. I am solely expressing my conviction on raising my children. The conviction that I was reminded of today as well as multiple day of our school year.
So, off of my box...sorry about that. My point for blogging tonight is just that in the midst of defeated thoughts God's grace was there. HE was there. He gave me the grace to get through our school work with our sanity--at least part of it, and he reminded why I chose to do it in the first place, giving me a renewed strength.
I know that my situation may seem trivial to some of you, but I know that all can relate. In those moments that we feel like it just isn't worth continuing, when we want to walk away, walk out the door, drive off and forget. Just give up. God is there. He is always there. I have a vision of a bee in a glass jar...bear with me...but think for a moment of a bee contained in the glass jar. You can faintly hear him buzzing inside as he whizzes around searching for an escape route, but then when you take the lid off, immediately, you can distinctively hear the sound of his wings...buzzzzzzzz. Got the picture? So now apply that in those moments of defeat, take the lid off of God and listen to him buzz as he renews you. Ask him for ears that hear his voice and for his peace amidst the chaos. He is ever so faithful to do so. He ROCKS!
Sunday, March 1, 2009
These last days are torture
I have become incredibly irresponsible with my diligence in blogging. I do apologize once again. These past days have been a blur. I am so thankful that I have my cousin here with me to get thru these final weeks. She has truly been a blessing to have. Soon, she will be off on the road headed to the next destination that the USCG has in store for them. Me? I will be here anxiously awaiting the return of my wonderful hubby. The days are counting down! YES! We are in the final stretch, only a matter of weeks. But though my heart will be overwhelmed with joy, it will once again be crushed in only a matter of months. The call of duty. And so the saga of a military family continues as we will face the joys of home and the cry of separation. This is where we call on the Lord and trust in his everlasting mercy and grace.
My love to all of my family and friends and friends who are family. I love you!
My love to all of my family and friends and friends who are family. I love you!
Friday, January 30, 2009
A stagnant blog
I owe all of my faithfuls an apology. This blog has become stagnant as I have tried to overcome my inner struggles and get back into the swing of being at home. It has been a hurdle that I haven't jumped lightly, but rather slowly am climbing over. But as always, our God is one mighty God and has provided for me once again in my desperation. Not that I am truly desperate right now but just incredibly lonely.
At the point that I struggled to get out of bed and just manage to do my routine chores, God brought a very special family into my life. My cousin's husband came to a local base for a 10 week training, so my house being God's house, has become a temporary home of my cousin and their beautiful toddling girl. They have been here for about two weeks and I am loving it. They are a strong christian family grounded in God's word and teaching. It is awesome. Not only do I have someone to relate to and share my thoughts with but someone to study God's word with and hold me accountable. Together, she and I are study God's plan for a wife and how to be that virtuous woman.
I do have to say that though God was gracious to them by providing them a way to not be separated, he was merciful to me by providing me with the companionship to get through this last leg of the deployment. I praise God. He is ever so faithful! He never ceases to amaze me.
At the point that I struggled to get out of bed and just manage to do my routine chores, God brought a very special family into my life. My cousin's husband came to a local base for a 10 week training, so my house being God's house, has become a temporary home of my cousin and their beautiful toddling girl. They have been here for about two weeks and I am loving it. They are a strong christian family grounded in God's word and teaching. It is awesome. Not only do I have someone to relate to and share my thoughts with but someone to study God's word with and hold me accountable. Together, she and I are study God's plan for a wife and how to be that virtuous woman.
I do have to say that though God was gracious to them by providing them a way to not be separated, he was merciful to me by providing me with the companionship to get through this last leg of the deployment. I praise God. He is ever so faithful! He never ceases to amaze me.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Crumbling Point?
I know that at a certain point water begins to boil, so at what point does a person begin to crumble? Or at least a NAVY (or any military) spouse? We have about 3 1/2 months left on this deployment, which is not much. We are over the hump and on our downward spiral but with it is ME. What happened to me? I am usaully the strong one, able to hold things together and not show too much emotion but now I feel like I could collaps at any moment. Was it the releif from the tremendous amount of stress that I was under?
This blog is dedicated to the trials and triumphs of a military family, well here is a trial. DEPLOYMENT! I am tired of it. I am ready for my hubby to be home. I am ready to be annoyed by his familiar manly antics! I am ready do extra laundry, cook extra food, and lose precious sleep for the love of my life.
Okay, I feel better...hummm, what else is on my brain?
"Howard is a wonderful husband. He is a great daddy. He puts God first on the todem pole and then I rank second with the kids falling in behind. I love that. He repects that I need quiet time with God. He could cuddle for days and never leave the house if allowed the opportunity. He respects my body. He is a tremedously determined individual. He always goes back to finish what he started even if it takes 9 years. He has endured incredible suffering for his dreams. He is an honest man. He is tenderhearted. He is a warrior. He loved me when I was reckless and waited 8 years for me. He believes in me. He is my best friend and I am his. He trusts me. He lets me spend money. He loves to spend money on the kids and me. He is persistent. He is confident. He is incredibly sexy. He is MINE!"
I know I do not make much sense, I am heartbroken and lonely tonight, but yet there is peace...It's God.
This blog is dedicated to the trials and triumphs of a military family, well here is a trial. DEPLOYMENT! I am tired of it. I am ready for my hubby to be home. I am ready to be annoyed by his familiar manly antics! I am ready do extra laundry, cook extra food, and lose precious sleep for the love of my life.
Okay, I feel better...hummm, what else is on my brain?
"Howard is a wonderful husband. He is a great daddy. He puts God first on the todem pole and then I rank second with the kids falling in behind. I love that. He repects that I need quiet time with God. He could cuddle for days and never leave the house if allowed the opportunity. He respects my body. He is a tremedously determined individual. He always goes back to finish what he started even if it takes 9 years. He has endured incredible suffering for his dreams. He is an honest man. He is tenderhearted. He is a warrior. He loved me when I was reckless and waited 8 years for me. He believes in me. He is my best friend and I am his. He trusts me. He lets me spend money. He loves to spend money on the kids and me. He is persistent. He is confident. He is incredibly sexy. He is MINE!"
I know I do not make much sense, I am heartbroken and lonely tonight, but yet there is peace...It's God.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
A look at the past two months...
Wow, what an exhausting vacation, if you could even call it that. It has been a while since I have blogged and I am definately out of the swing of things just as you are all behind on my life's current events. So, I will paraphrase a summary...If I tried to recall it all at once, you are likely to have to stop reading half-way through to get on with your lives.
My last post was on December 1, 2008 telling of the wonderous move of God concerning my dad. I regret to inform you that he did later pass away on December 12, as did my grandmother on December 4.
Those two deaths alone was enough emotional turmoil for me but God had other plans for me. I dealt with a wealth of family animosity, gossip, and rivalry and amongst it all, I totalled my van. A dear ran out in front of me on December 8 and of course, those Texas deer do not have insurance...thankfully, I do. There was a lot more that happened during my stay that I do not have liberty to say on the internet, or at least I will show some respect for those who hurt me. I am not out to humiliate anyone but to be a light. And though I endured a lot, I do feel like God used me to show his mercy. He sustained me through it all and I am ever so thankful.
I will fill in gaps in later posts, but for now, just know that I am happy, healthy, and at home in Virginia! Praise God!
My last post was on December 1, 2008 telling of the wonderous move of God concerning my dad. I regret to inform you that he did later pass away on December 12, as did my grandmother on December 4.
Those two deaths alone was enough emotional turmoil for me but God had other plans for me. I dealt with a wealth of family animosity, gossip, and rivalry and amongst it all, I totalled my van. A dear ran out in front of me on December 8 and of course, those Texas deer do not have insurance...thankfully, I do. There was a lot more that happened during my stay that I do not have liberty to say on the internet, or at least I will show some respect for those who hurt me. I am not out to humiliate anyone but to be a light. And though I endured a lot, I do feel like God used me to show his mercy. He sustained me through it all and I am ever so thankful.I will fill in gaps in later posts, but for now, just know that I am happy, healthy, and at home in Virginia! Praise God!
Monday, December 1, 2008
God's Grace is Enough
This past week has been exhausting to say the least, but definitely has strengthened myself and others. It has been a bonding time with my sister and I and a definite change of heart for us regarding our father. Three years ago, I had so much resentment that I would not have taken this trip to be with him and now I have entertaining the thought of moving closer to him.
Even though he and I have had a strained relationship for the past ten years, in his hour of need, God prepared a way for me to be by his side as well as making sure my sister could be here. We definitely spent some time looking death straight in the face and seen God move on our behalf, astonishing nurses, doctors, and unbelievers. On Friday, my dad was coded without a pulse after a week on a ventilator. CPR brought him around and drugs kept his heart beating throughout the day and night. On Sunday morning, he was eating a cheeseburger and telling stories about our childhood! Go GOD!
So today is Monday and we will be on the road tomorrow back to Mamma's house in northeast Texas.
Even though he and I have had a strained relationship for the past ten years, in his hour of need, God prepared a way for me to be by his side as well as making sure my sister could be here. We definitely spent some time looking death straight in the face and seen God move on our behalf, astonishing nurses, doctors, and unbelievers. On Friday, my dad was coded without a pulse after a week on a ventilator. CPR brought him around and drugs kept his heart beating throughout the day and night. On Sunday morning, he was eating a cheeseburger and telling stories about our childhood! Go GOD!
So today is Monday and we will be on the road tomorrow back to Mamma's house in northeast Texas.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Finally an Update
Okay, so I have been gone for a while. First off, we made it to Texas safely but my mamma does not have Internet at her new house yet. Second, my grandmother went on a ventilator last week and my dad went on one as well in Arizona....so, my half-cross-country trip turned into a complete cross-country trip. I am currently in Arizona. My hubby came home on R&R and the next day we set out to come here with my sister and kids in tow. Thank God for that mini van!
I regretfully admit that my grandmother has brain damage. She is off of the ventilator and we are just waiting. I pray that I will make it back to Texas in time to attend her funeral. My dad on the other hand is at a point of waiting. He was extibated this morning but is not showing much progress. Tonight I sang to him...my voice was inherited from him as well as what training I have came from him. I hope he wasn't secretly critiquing me! :) As I sang, his heart rate increased and his breathing became rapid. He started trying to move his head to face me but he was still just blank.
It is hard to see him like this. Later, when I have more time (later might be in a month or two), I will share some insights into my relationship with him. I am thankful that I am here. It is hard but I am thankful.
Also, today was Brydon's 7th birthday. It was hard for him, but tomorrow I will share some pictures of my dad with him that might help him to understand a little better as to why we made an emergency trip here and he missed Thanksgiving and his birthday party. It is just a tough time for us all. Now I am beginning to really understand all of the prophecies, dreams, and visions that were being shared with me over the past two months. God is really using me, though it is in a way that I wasnt so sure I could ever handle. The hardest part though was telling my grandfather whose wife was on a vent in one state that his son was on one in another. But God gave me the strength in that moment and I was able to share my faith and pray with my grandfather finally learning that he DOES believe in our Lord. What a relief for me....after all of these years.
But I am rambling now, I will get on here when I can but the opportunities are few and far between.
I regretfully admit that my grandmother has brain damage. She is off of the ventilator and we are just waiting. I pray that I will make it back to Texas in time to attend her funeral. My dad on the other hand is at a point of waiting. He was extibated this morning but is not showing much progress. Tonight I sang to him...my voice was inherited from him as well as what training I have came from him. I hope he wasn't secretly critiquing me! :) As I sang, his heart rate increased and his breathing became rapid. He started trying to move his head to face me but he was still just blank.
It is hard to see him like this. Later, when I have more time (later might be in a month or two), I will share some insights into my relationship with him. I am thankful that I am here. It is hard but I am thankful.
Also, today was Brydon's 7th birthday. It was hard for him, but tomorrow I will share some pictures of my dad with him that might help him to understand a little better as to why we made an emergency trip here and he missed Thanksgiving and his birthday party. It is just a tough time for us all. Now I am beginning to really understand all of the prophecies, dreams, and visions that were being shared with me over the past two months. God is really using me, though it is in a way that I wasnt so sure I could ever handle. The hardest part though was telling my grandfather whose wife was on a vent in one state that his son was on one in another. But God gave me the strength in that moment and I was able to share my faith and pray with my grandfather finally learning that he DOES believe in our Lord. What a relief for me....after all of these years.
But I am rambling now, I will get on here when I can but the opportunities are few and far between.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
God Answers Prayers
My God answers prayers! Even those for material possessions!
Okay so for a filler on the circumstance to my prayer: One year ago my husband's job changed as did his pay...by an extreme amount. Such an extreme amount that I am amazed that we even survived without losing BOTH of our houses. It was THAT much! But in this transition, we sold our pickup to keep ourselves afloat because it was fairly new, in good sellable condition, and paid for. Not the most brilliant of ideas! But hey, we still have our houses and our other vehicle (small car) and we are still able to eat. But with a large family, one that at the time had a baby in the oven, that little car is just a wee-tad too small, or at least when Daddy is home. With Daddy gone, we can squeeze two car seats in the back with a wedge of space left for a small rear-end and a booster seat in the front seat, but no dog...poor Maggie.
Late in my pregnancy, our dear friends in Germany blessed us with their Pathfinder to use while they are overseas. It was an incredible blessing to be able to have a few more inches (3 or 4) between the kiddos but it was still VERY tight. But tight or no tight, we have been in preparation for this trip back to Texas for several months, in which we prayed and laid claim that we would have a bigger, free or nearly free vehicle by November. We set the month to November because I was unsure of a day but sure of the month that we would leave.
Well, the first of November came and went and there was no vehicle in our sights. I have been so bummed. Our beloved friends encouraged me to take their Pathfinder to Texas saying that is why they left it with us...to be a blessing. So, I reluctantly gave in to the fact that I was not getting my very own larger vehicle anytime soon and that we would just have to make do in their vehicle even though I was beside myself for putting that many miles on their car.
Today, after church, November 9th, I drug out the car-top carrier and went to work trying to put it atop the Pathfinder to find that the brackets did not fit the nerf bars, so I began to devise a means to make it work. About an hour and a half into my endeavor, after I had snapped at the kids for talking to me, made my back ache, and was about ready to throw the whole thing in the garbage and rent a UHAUL, my neighbor came over with some papers and stickers for my kids.
As I was standing their unloading my anxiety onto her hoping she would figure out that I didnt have the time to talk because I was too busy getting prepared to leave she asked me a question that she had meant to ask me a week ago. Would I like to buy her mini van from her since she recently got another one....hmmm. It is nice...how much would she ask for it?...can she hang onto it until I get back from my trip?...could I even get financed with this economy? As these things were pouring through my mind, she asked if I would like to walk over and take a look at it. So, I hesitantly did knowing that I probably could not afford it.
Like I said, my God answers prayers. We signed title and added insurance tonight. I can afford to pay them from my checking account though they said not to until after my trip and to just pay them however I wanted to over a year (I will pay them sooner), and we put my car-top carrier, which fits, on it tonight! How funny is our God? And what about his timing? Was he testing my patience our what? I just cant stop laughing at Him tonight!
Okay so for a filler on the circumstance to my prayer: One year ago my husband's job changed as did his pay...by an extreme amount. Such an extreme amount that I am amazed that we even survived without losing BOTH of our houses. It was THAT much! But in this transition, we sold our pickup to keep ourselves afloat because it was fairly new, in good sellable condition, and paid for. Not the most brilliant of ideas! But hey, we still have our houses and our other vehicle (small car) and we are still able to eat. But with a large family, one that at the time had a baby in the oven, that little car is just a wee-tad too small, or at least when Daddy is home. With Daddy gone, we can squeeze two car seats in the back with a wedge of space left for a small rear-end and a booster seat in the front seat, but no dog...poor Maggie.
Late in my pregnancy, our dear friends in Germany blessed us with their Pathfinder to use while they are overseas. It was an incredible blessing to be able to have a few more inches (3 or 4) between the kiddos but it was still VERY tight. But tight or no tight, we have been in preparation for this trip back to Texas for several months, in which we prayed and laid claim that we would have a bigger, free or nearly free vehicle by November. We set the month to November because I was unsure of a day but sure of the month that we would leave.
Well, the first of November came and went and there was no vehicle in our sights. I have been so bummed. Our beloved friends encouraged me to take their Pathfinder to Texas saying that is why they left it with us...to be a blessing. So, I reluctantly gave in to the fact that I was not getting my very own larger vehicle anytime soon and that we would just have to make do in their vehicle even though I was beside myself for putting that many miles on their car.
Today, after church, November 9th, I drug out the car-top carrier and went to work trying to put it atop the Pathfinder to find that the brackets did not fit the nerf bars, so I began to devise a means to make it work. About an hour and a half into my endeavor, after I had snapped at the kids for talking to me, made my back ache, and was about ready to throw the whole thing in the garbage and rent a UHAUL, my neighbor came over with some papers and stickers for my kids.
As I was standing their unloading my anxiety onto her hoping she would figure out that I didnt have the time to talk because I was too busy getting prepared to leave she asked me a question that she had meant to ask me a week ago. Would I like to buy her mini van from her since she recently got another one....hmmm. It is nice...how much would she ask for it?...can she hang onto it until I get back from my trip?...could I even get financed with this economy? As these things were pouring through my mind, she asked if I would like to walk over and take a look at it. So, I hesitantly did knowing that I probably could not afford it.
Like I said, my God answers prayers. We signed title and added insurance tonight. I can afford to pay them from my checking account though they said not to until after my trip and to just pay them however I wanted to over a year (I will pay them sooner), and we put my car-top carrier, which fits, on it tonight! How funny is our God? And what about his timing? Was he testing my patience our what? I just cant stop laughing at Him tonight!
Sunday, November 2, 2008
I love awakening in the morning to check my email to see if my hubby has sent me new pictures. Recently, we havent been able to webcam but God's grace is sufficient and I am thankful that we do get to at least talk on the phone...as unreliable as his phone is.This is one of my favorite pictures that he has sent. Some of my other favs I do not have liberty to share because they are of him with the local children. But this one I love. Not only is it a great pictures of my handsome hubby but look behind him at God's beauty! The artist of all artists, that is God's artwork. Magnificent!
Sunday, October 26, 2008
PREPARING FOR A LONG AWAITED DAY
In 2 1/2 weeks I will begin the journey home. In reality, I have been on this journey for 3 years now. I never would have thought that I would be apart from my mamma both physically and emotionally for that long of a time. But God can move mountains and a mountain was sure what had come between us! I have been praying for this day since the day that the mountain was set into place. I am fully aware that ALL of my prayers may not come to pass but for now I am just thrilled that the bridges are being restored and our relationship is being repaired.
It is going to be a big trip. The kids and I will be there for a couple of months if all goes according to plan. If it doesn't, I know where home is and I have a home in Virginia waiting for me. But as of now, I am asking all of my readers to lift my family up in prayer. I will be facing my past and the demons that were left there. I just ask that you stand in prayer with me that I will not be spiritually attacked by the enemy and that all of the enemy's plans be foiled. May the Lord's will be done in that place!
For those of you who do not know this yet, here is my secret...keep it safe, it is a surprise for my children. Daddy is coming home!!!! YAY!!! I will slip out while the kids are with relatives and get him from the airport and bring him to them. They will be so surprised, I cant wait to see their faces. Oh, how I cant wait to lay in bed with my husband and the baby as she gets to know her daddy in those quiet moments in the morning before everyone else wakes up. For me, that is the most precious time with her and I cant wait for Daddy to enjoy it as well. She was 3 1/2 months old when he left and bless her little heart, she doesn't even know she has such a wonderful daddy. But she will, though only for a short time. This is only a "teaser" but he will be home for good soon enough. I know that this visit is going to leave us heartbroken again but I am just thankful that he gets to come home for this...to my mamma's. So readers, please be in prayer for that as well.
Dear readers, I love you. I feel honored that you would take the time out of your day to read my blog but I do need to say something that God had put on my heart. My post the other night was from an angry heart and I do apologize. I did prayerfully consider retracting that post but in response to my prayers, the answer is not what you may want to hear. I understand that everyone has their reasons for any and everything that they do. That is between you and God and I will by NO means judge you. I am a sinner. But if you were angered by my words, then that is conviction and that too is between you and God. Conviction is one of Gods methods to changing our hearts and sometimes it hurts.
Friday, October 24, 2008
I am fed up with all of you CHRISTIANS!!!
Do you know that 85% of Americans claim to be Christians? That is 224,457,000 people. That means that only 15% of our country's people are of either some other religion or are atheist and believe nothing at all. That is crazy! Do you realize that you could walk into Wal-Mart filled with 100 people and ask them if they believe in God, statically, 85 people would answer yes. But here's the kicker, what if you then asked those 85 people what they did with their "Christianity?" Do they...
REMEMBER this in our election...
- Do they regularly attend church to be in the presence of the Lord and the body of believers or do they just sit in the back pew of the church to earn feel good points for the week? Do they attend church at all?
- Do they thank God continually throughout the day for the unnoticed blessings is in their life?
- Do they offer prayer to the sick woman standing in line at the grocery store or do they just pray that she doesn't come close enough to catch what she has and quietly condemn her for going out in public like that?
- Do they teach their children about the Lord?
- Do they admit to their friends that they are a "Christian" with firm moral values or do they just pass forwarded emails around with the hope of receiving a blessing for sending it to 7 people while hoping that those 7 people don't get offended and take them off of their friends list?
- Do they organize ministry to reach out to those who are lost?
- Do they offer their time to others who are organizing ministry to those who are lost?
- Do they even know the price to claim to be a "Christian" in persecuted countries? Do they care?
- Do these people do anything other than claim that they are a "Christian?" Do they know the definition of "Christian?"
- Do they know what Christ taught?
REMEMBER this in our election...
To lose those we love
There are moments in all of our lives when we feel beaten down and just utterly alone. Stagnant.
This blog is not a wallering-hole for self-pity but an online journal to give others insight into the struggles and joys that we face as a christian family in a world that doesn't carry our same views. As well as looking into the life of a path less traveled, it is also an insight into the lonely world of a military family.
The other day I was part of a conversation that took place revolving around what we lose when we choose to follow Christ and it was made known that it is a common thing to lose your family,or for them to at least begin to think that you have gone of the deep end. In my life, I have seen that happen. I have watched as those I love so dearly have withdrawn from me becuase they don't fully understand the change and I, myself, have withdrawn from alot due to things and lifestyles being less appealing to me. I am by no means judgemental...I try VERY hard at that, but it seems that others are afraid that I am just because I have chosen to change my life. Though to some, this issue may seem trivial, but to me it is enormous. I struggle with knowing that my choice to follow Christ came with a price tag. A very large one. But although the price was tragic in my eyes, I know that to God it is only pennies. A small sacrifice in comparison to what He gave and that it was not in vain.
So, though at times I feel as though I walk this dusty trail alone, I know that it isn't so. And as I am slowly separated from those that I hold dear to my heart, God is replenishing my life with new faces and atmospheres that only bring me closer to another horizon.
This blog is not a wallering-hole for self-pity but an online journal to give others insight into the struggles and joys that we face as a christian family in a world that doesn't carry our same views. As well as looking into the life of a path less traveled, it is also an insight into the lonely world of a military family.
The other day I was part of a conversation that took place revolving around what we lose when we choose to follow Christ and it was made known that it is a common thing to lose your family,or for them to at least begin to think that you have gone of the deep end. In my life, I have seen that happen. I have watched as those I love so dearly have withdrawn from me becuase they don't fully understand the change and I, myself, have withdrawn from alot due to things and lifestyles being less appealing to me. I am by no means judgemental...I try VERY hard at that, but it seems that others are afraid that I am just because I have chosen to change my life. Though to some, this issue may seem trivial, but to me it is enormous. I struggle with knowing that my choice to follow Christ came with a price tag. A very large one. But although the price was tragic in my eyes, I know that to God it is only pennies. A small sacrifice in comparison to what He gave and that it was not in vain.
So, though at times I feel as though I walk this dusty trail alone, I know that it isn't so. And as I am slowly separated from those that I hold dear to my heart, God is replenishing my life with new faces and atmospheres that only bring me closer to another horizon.
Monday, October 20, 2008
What a Wonderful Surprise
I love to brag on my adoring husband and today is no different. God has definitely blessed me with all I could ever ask for out of a man: he loves our Lord and makes an honest and conscience effort to put God first above our relationship and family, he is very passionate about our family and strives to be a good and present daddy (work-willing), he loves me tenderly with his every breath making me feel like I am the most important woman in the world and has tremendous faith in all that I do or think about doing. He is amazing. He is beautiful, inside and out, and I have to admit, I was a little jealous when I was told by a neighbor that he was sexy and she liked to watch him when he would go out for a run in nothing but combat boots and his little shorty-short shorts! Ahhh, hmmm, still not sure how to take that one... lol. But if you haven't figured it out yet, I am crazy about that man. I might not always act like it to him, he may not see me adoringly stare at the back of his head when he is playing with the kids, or me breaking my neck to watch him walk away when he is wearing his green cammies. He may not realize how giddy and impatient I get when I know he is off work and on his way home or how many times a day I think about him, especially now in his absence, but I do. I love that man.
I have mentioned before that God always knows the right moments and he is ever faithful to pull me out of my own pit of pity. I love God. I love my husband. I just cant say it enough tonight. But to get on with it... The last few days have been a far cry from warm. I have worn both a full length leather coat and a knee length wool coat and was still cold, so imagine my house when I was defiantly rebelling to turn the heater on this early in the year. Needless to say, I finally caved on that one.
I can get through my days now with little thought to my loneliness. This is probably due to my nonstop schedule of being a mommy of four, but it isn't so at night, especially on cold nights. My hubby generates enormous amounts of heat. I call him my furnace in the winter months but I can hardly cuddly up too close for long periods of time in the summer because of this. Oh, but how wonderful it is on a cold winter night to curl up on his arm with my back to his stomach enveloped in his other arm. So safe. So secure. And oh so warm! I love it, which brings me back to my point, sorry about the wondering thoughts there. lol.
It SUCKS to climb into a cold bed and have to generate my own heat!!! I think I need a heating blanket for this season. So, I've been a little bummed. I've had trouble sleeping. And just once again reminded of his absence. And voila!!! I walked outside to take something to my neighbor to see a delivery van in my driveway. He asked if I was "Jones," "sho nuff" I said. He said he had some flowers. I said,"another set of Jones' live two houses down" and he said "no this is you, you got a boyfriend?" I said no, got a husband in another country." He said, "I'll be your boyfriend!" I thanked the 70 something year old man and walked away feeling refreshed.
My bible study asks, "Am I lovely?" Today, I felt lovely, loved, adored, cherished, and wanted. Sunflowers are my FAVORITE flower, red is my FAVORITE color, red roses are the flower of love. And so he thought of ME with red roses and sunflowers on this cold and lonely day. My heavenly father showered his grace on me by using my wonderful husband. Today the love rained down.
And to my Dear Hubby, if you get to log on and read this, I love you, I adore you, and I cherish you.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Atom Feed (xml)