This is hard, I'm not gonna lie. Some can presumptuously say that I knew what I was getting into when I married a man in the military and they are right, I did. But though my head knew the road ahead, my heart didn't care. I had loved this man for so long but had been dumb to the actuality and realization of it. It is amazing now to look back on the "before" of my life.

I had always struggled to know who "I" was and to find true happiness. I would step into a role that would make others smile and if it felt good enough for me then that is what it was...enough. But eventaully, that caught up to me. What amazes me now is that there were so many signs pointing toward destruction that I pushed away. One, being that I inwardly struggled with resigning my maiden name and replacing it with that of another's. Two, as harsh as it sounds, I would catch myself daydreaming that one day, years down the road, I would be a widow and my beloved and I would be reunited to share the remainder of our lives together. How unfair was the to those in my life? There are so many other examples but they are too numerous to bore you with.

So I have lived and loved, broken hearts and had mine broken; all these things leading up to the welcome reunion of my beloved  that shook my world so hard that debri can still be found in every relationship that was important to me at the time and is to this day. What I have to say to that? "Happiness is a small and acceptable price to pay to rebuild a bridge." I live with "maybe I could have's" but not with any REGRETS!
So now I live my life, serving God as a military wife and as some say, "serving on the homefront" but I wouldn't trade it for anthing. I know that God has brought me thru trials in my life to prepare me and make me strong for the role I now have.  May He use me for His purpose and may I enjoy the ride...