The Lord knew I needed a laugh today

As a mother of four, two being girls and two being boys, I am finally learning some of the differences in boys and girls that they do not teach you school. I mean, some of the differences are obviously apparent but some...man, are just plain hysterical.
I witnessed one of these differences today that had me bent over laughing so hard that the tears were like a river down my face.
The kids and I spent the majority of our morning consumed with breakfast and chores before we finally sat down to begin our school day. As always, Xander, the free spirit, was joyously romping through the house, climbing on furniture, stealing pencils, climbing atop our backs and just fervently trying to divert our attention from our studies to devote it to him. Always the attention seeker.
Today, our bible studies took us back to the beginning of Genesis to remind us of how mighty our creator really is. How he is so much bigger than our enormously vast universe and how He would take the time to create man, so tiny in comparison to the universe and heavens and yet so precious in His love that He created us in His image. We touched on the image of Jesus and how Jesus was there in the beginning, first being mentioned in Genesis 1:26 "Let us make man in our image," and then in John 1:1 "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." This was a perfect illustration of capital letter usage for proper nouns that are reserved for persons and places. We replaced the name "Word" with "Jesus" and were able to see how Jesus was with God during creation and how Jesus IS God. It was wonderful. But then we read on in Genesis to see how God created Adam a helper and she was a woman.
This was about the time that our little free spirit, who was romping about in nothing but a diaper, decided that it would be fun to explore with a little miniature version of a cooking utensil.
This past Christmas the younger two of the four received a plastic kitchen along with all of the cooking essentials to pretend that they were connoisseurs of the culinary arts. Among these utensils is a slotted spoon that has a looped wire type handle, about 4 inches long and only about 3/4 of an inch wide...the handle, not the whole spoon. Well...as we are studying man and woman, he tuckes the handle of the spoon down the front of the diaper. As I witnessed this from across the room, I told him to take it out, that sticking things down our pants was inappropriate--like he knows what that means! But he did indeed proceed to take it out, only to cringe up his cute little face and cry, "It hurt Mommy." So I apathetically called him to me and latched onto the little spoon to begin pulling it myself but only made him cry more...hmmm, it was time to investigate. Pulling the diaper out to find out why the little spoon caught, I learned another very real difference in little boys and little girls. Why would this happen? Little boys seem to have some interesting fetish with their extra body part. It is like a toy I suppose that can be poked, pulled, and manipulated for shear joy all because the opposite gender is with lack...so I suppose. But for my little free spirit, his whole little manly-hood hung in the balance of being caught, I mean, looped through the slot of the wire handle and was at the mercy of ME, the one trying to pull it out. So the "hook-n-latch" operation had to be unraveled to free him of the obvious pain of his pious situation.
And so, God created man and then created woman, whom by the way, is very much different in all respects!

I WAS defeated

WOW! Today was one of those days...One of those hair-raising, frustrating, make you wanna quit days. It was a day that I had to literally call upon the Lord to just get our math done. No one ever said that homeschooling the children would be easy,in fact, I new prior to the commitment that it would be the hardest endeavour that I would ever embark upon.
This morning we awoke to a beautiful white landscaped yard. The brilliant white was enormously enticing to the kids so I used it to my advantage, knowing full-well that kids almost always have one up on the parents. But I did anyway and encouraged the kids to speed thru their chores and hop right onto school work so that they could play outside.
In the beginning, it was going great. They were motivated beyond motivation. But soon the neighbor kids were all in the street and in the creek behind the house sliding down inclines and throwing snowballs. My children eagerly watched out the window and tried to focus. It was very hard for them but they were doing so well. But as it usually does, the good has its end and we started to struggle. I would help one child as the other would pout because they were stuck and needed my help as well.It was a very stressful predicament. They had so much bottled up intensity and anxiety over getting finished that they became frustrated when "teacher-mom" couldn't help them as quickly as they had hoped because I was in the process of helping their sibling,not to mention, carrying around an infant and occupying and two-year old. More stress than I bargained for over manipulating this little snow day. FOR SURE. But soon enough they were done.
So once again, I was reminded today that God's grace is sufficient. It was frustrating to a point that I wondered why I was battling to home school my two oldest children while I had two demanding young ones at my feet vying for my attention as well. God reminded me that when he blessed me with children, he was putting their training and future in my hands. That this is not a task that I can lightly passed off to someone that I do not know because ultimately, it is MY responsibility to train my children up in the way that they should go because God promises that if I am diligent to do so that they will not depart from that. With such a hefty promise, if I were to expect someone else to train my children, then what will I have to complain about when they are teenagers and I can't control them...it would be on my head, if they want to rebel against me, I want to know full-well that I did EVERYTHING in my power to raise them right. Their salvation is MY responsibility as their parent and God gives me the opportunity to chose who my children are subjected to and what kinds of influences they are around. Not saying that I am hoping that this is the key to having godly young adults, but I do believe that it is a help. That showing the kids that I love God and them so much that I lovingly and gladly take on that full role and responsibility, carrying the full weight of their upbringing upon my shoulders, and that choosing the influences whom they come encounter with, as well as, ensuring that they have vast interaction with other children who are being raised in christian homes. I pray that these efforts will encourage my children to grow in love that is so lacking in our society and culture.
Please, readers, don't think that I am short-changing you if you have your children in public school, I am in no way judging you. I am solely expressing my conviction on raising my children. The conviction that I was reminded of today as well as multiple day of our school year.
So, off of my box...sorry about that. My point for blogging tonight is just that in the midst of defeated thoughts God's grace was there. HE was there. He gave me the grace to get through our school work with our sanity--at least part of it, and he reminded why I chose to do it in the first place, giving me a renewed strength.
I know that my situation may seem trivial to some of you, but I know that all can relate. In those moments that we feel like it just isn't worth continuing, when we want to walk away, walk out the door, drive off and forget. Just give up. God is there. He is always there. I have a vision of a bee in a glass jar...bear with me...but think for a moment of a bee contained in the glass jar. You can faintly hear him buzzing inside as he whizzes around searching for an escape route, but then when you take the lid off, immediately, you can distinctively hear the sound of his wings...buzzzzzzzz. Got the picture? So now apply that in those moments of defeat, take the lid off of God and listen to him buzz as he renews you. Ask him for ears that hear his voice and for his peace amidst the chaos. He is ever so faithful to do so. He ROCKS!

These last days are torture

I have become incredibly irresponsible with my diligence in blogging. I do apologize once again. These past days have been a blur. I am so thankful that I have my cousin here with me to get thru these final weeks. She has truly been a blessing to have. Soon, she will be off on the road headed to the next destination that the USCG has in store for them. Me? I will be here anxiously awaiting the return of my wonderful hubby. The days are counting down! YES! We are in the final stretch, only a matter of weeks. But though my heart will be overwhelmed with joy, it will once again be crushed in only a matter of months. The call of duty. And so the saga of a military family continues as we will face the joys of home and the cry of separation. This is where we call on the Lord and trust in his everlasting mercy and grace.
My love to all of my family and friends and friends who are family. I love you!

A stagnant blog

I owe all of my faithfuls an apology. This blog has become stagnant as I have tried to overcome my inner struggles and get back into the swing of being at home. It has been a hurdle that I haven't jumped lightly, but rather slowly am climbing over. But as always, our God is one mighty God and has provided for me once again in my desperation. Not that I am truly desperate right now but just incredibly lonely.
At the point that I struggled to get out of bed and just manage to do my routine chores, God brought a very special family into my life. My cousin's husband came to a local base for a 10 week training, so my house being God's house, has become a temporary home of my cousin and their beautiful toddling girl. They have been here for about two weeks and I am loving it. They are a strong christian family grounded in God's word and teaching. It is awesome. Not only do I have someone to relate to and share my thoughts with but someone to study God's word with and hold me accountable. Together, she and I are study God's plan for a wife and how to be that virtuous woman.
I do have to say that though God was gracious to them by providing them a way to not be separated, he was merciful to me by providing me with the companionship to get through this last leg of the deployment. I praise God. He is ever so faithful! He never ceases to amaze me.

Crumbling Point?

I know that at a certain point water begins to boil, so at what point does a person begin to crumble? Or at least a NAVY (or any military) spouse? We have about 3 1/2 months left on this deployment, which is not much. We are over the hump and on our downward spiral but with it is ME. What happened to me? I am usaully the strong one, able to hold things together and not show too much emotion but now I feel like I could collaps at any moment. Was it the releif from the tremendous amount of stress that I was under?
This blog is dedicated to the trials and triumphs of a military family, well here is a trial. DEPLOYMENT! I am tired of it. I am ready for my hubby to be home. I am ready to be annoyed by his familiar manly antics! I am ready do extra laundry, cook extra food, and lose precious sleep for the love of my life.
Okay, I feel better...hummm, what else is on my brain?
"Howard is a wonderful husband. He is a great daddy. He puts God first on the todem pole and then I rank second with the kids falling in behind. I love that. He repects that I need quiet time with God. He could cuddle for days and never leave the house if allowed the opportunity. He respects my body. He is a tremedously determined individual. He always goes back to finish what he started even if it takes 9 years. He has endured incredible suffering for his dreams. He is an honest man. He is tenderhearted. He is a warrior. He loved me when I was reckless and waited 8 years for me. He believes in me. He is my best friend and I am his. He trusts me. He lets me spend money. He loves to spend money on the kids and me. He is persistent. He is confident. He is incredibly sexy. He is MINE!"
I know I do not make much sense, I am heartbroken and lonely tonight, but yet there is peace...It's God.

A look at the past two months...

Wow, what an exhausting vacation, if you could even call it that. It has been a while since I have blogged and I am definately out of the swing of things just as you are all behind on my life's current events. So, I will paraphrase a summary...If I tried to recall it all at once, you are likely to have to stop reading half-way through to get on with your lives.
My last post was on December 1, 2008 telling of the wonderous move of God concerning my dad. I regret to inform you that he did later pass away on December 12, as did my grandmother on December 4. Those two deaths alone was enough emotional turmoil for me but God had other plans for me. I dealt with a wealth of family animosity, gossip, and rivalry and amongst it all, I totalled my van. A dear ran out in front of me on December 8 and of course, those Texas deer do not have insurance...thankfully, I do. There was a lot more that happened during my stay that I do not have liberty to say on the internet, or at least I will show some respect for those who hurt me. I am not out to humiliate anyone but to be a light. And though I endured a lot, I do feel like God used me to show his mercy. He sustained me through it all and I am ever so thankful.
I will fill in gaps in later posts, but for now, just know that I am happy, healthy, and at home in Virginia! Praise God!

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